Becoming a Better Man
From Success on Paper to Being Proud of the Man in the Mirror
Published on January 13, 2025
It’s late evening, and a man is driving home. The hum of the tires on the asphalt is steady, almost hypnotic. His hands grip the steering wheel, his eyes fixed on the road ahead, but his mind is somewhere else.
He’s just come from a meeting where he commanded respect. The numbers on paper look good—better than good. By most standards, he’s successful. He’s the kind of man others look up to, the kind of man who seems to have it all figured out.
But as the city lights blur past his window, a quiet voice rises within him. Is this it? Is this really how my life is going to continue?
He brushes the thought aside, turning up the volume on the radio.
But the voice doesn’t leave. It never does.
Am I really going to keep recreating the same thing?
The Ache Beneath Success
This man isn’t hopeless. He’s not someone who hasn’t achieved incredible things. On paper, his life is enviable. He’s built a career, a family, maybe even a legacy that others admire. But in his heart, he knows there’s more.
He feels it when he’s stuck in traffic, staring at the red glow of brake lights. He feels it when he sits at the dinner table, making small talk but longing for deeper connection. He feels it in the quiet moments, brushing his teeth, looking at the man in the mirror, and wondering if he’s truly proud of who he’s become.
It’s not that he’s ungrateful. He knows how far he’s come. But there’s a sense of disconnection he can’t shake—a knowing that his life, while good, isn’t as extraordinary as it could be.
And that knowing eats at him.
A Reminder of What Truly Matters
I remember working with with one of my incredible clients, let’s call him John. By most measures, John was living the dream. He was a high-level executive at a global company, the kind of man who walked into a room and commanded attention. His team respected him, his friends admired him, and his family loved him.
But one night, John had a moment that changed everything. After a long day at work, he was sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone, barely present. His teenage son walked into the room, sat down next to him, and asked, “Dad, do you ever smile anymore?”
The question hit John like a freight train. His son wasn’t asking for more things or more vacations. He was asking for him.
John realized he’d been so consumed by achieving and providing that he’d forgotten how to connect. His life looked perfect on the outside, but inside, he felt numb. That question from his son was the wake-up call he needed—a reminder of what truly mattered.
That night, John made a decision. He didn’t want to just exist. He wanted to live. He wanted to become the man his son could look up to—not just because of his accomplishments, but because of his presence, his love, and his authenticity.
Why Men Drift Instead of Thrive
John isn’t alone. I’ve worked with many men who’ve achieved great things but find themselves stuck in a cycle of chasing the next big milestone, hoping it will finally bring the fulfillment they crave.
They want to feel successful. They want to feel fulfilled. But no matter how much they achieve, they find themselves back at square one, chasing yet another shiny object. It’s like a sugar crash: the high of achievement fades, and they’re left feeling empty again.
The problem isn’t their ambition. It’s that they’re searching for fulfillment in all the wrong places. They’ve spent so much time striving, proving, and achieving that they’ve forgotten how to simply be. Maybe it’s because, growing up, they felt like no matter what they did, it was never good enough for their father. Or perhaps they believed their worth was tied to their grades, their performance in school, or their success in sports—as if just being themselves could never truly please their parents.
And yet, what they truly want isn’t another trophy, another title, or another external validation. What they want is to reconnect with who they really are. To feel grounded, at peace, and proud—not just of what they’ve accomplished, but of who they’ve become.
Guiding Men Like You
If this resonates with you, this is where I come in.
I’m not a man, and I’m not here to mentor you like one of the guys. I’m not here to teach you strategies or tactics, either. My role is different.
Men in my world effortlessly step up their game. They calibrate to higher frequencies without trying, without forcing change, and without chasing more. They don’t need to work harder or prove themselves. Instead, they remember who they truly are. And from that place, everything shifts.
Time and time again, men reach out to me and say, “Listen, Ruta, I’ve got it all—success, money, respect, family—but I just want to be a better man.” What they’re really saying is that they want to feel happier and more aligned. They want to feel more alive, more excited, and eager to make a difference. They want to be kinder, more compassionate, and more loving—to themselves and to those around them.
These are men who’ve achieved extraordinary things yet feel a gap between the lives they’ve built and the men they want to be. They don’t come to me because they need fixing. They come because they sense that something more and better is possible.
I’ve worked with wildly successful, kind-hearted men—Navy SEAL veterans, global thought leaders, C-level executives—men who trusted me to hold space for them.
In my presence, they feel safe. Safe to shine, safe to share their deepest desires, and safe to dream bigger than they ever have before.
They often tell me, “Ruta, with you, I don’t feel like I have to pretend. I can just be myself.”
And it’s in that safety that true transformation happens.
Becoming a Man You’re Proud of
The men I work with don’t just achieve more—they become more. They become the men they’re proud to be.
They learn how to forgive themselves for past mistakes and stop carrying the weight of regret. They discover how to feel great about who they’re becoming, falling in love with the process of growth and expansion—and not just for the sake of themselves, but for their families, their friends, their teams, and their communities.
The transformation is undeniable:
They stop chasing temporary highs and start creating lasting change.
They stop reacting to life and start leading it.
They stop striving to be successful and start living from a place of fulfillment.
What’s most powerful is that this transformation doesn’t feel like work. It’s not about forcing yourself to change. It’s about remembering who you’ve always been and stepping back into that power.
What Does This Look Like in Real Life?
Imagine this:
You’re driving home after a long day, but this time, you’re not weighed down by questions or doubts. Instead, you’re reflecting on the moments that truly mattered—moments when you showed up fully present and aligned with your values.
You walk into your home, and your family feels the difference. Your partner sees it in your eyes, hears it in your voice, and feels it in your presence. Your children feel safe and loved, knowing you’re not just there physically but emotionally, too.
At work, your team is inspired—not by what you say, but by who you are. You’re leading by example, creating a ripple effect that elevates everyone around you.
And when you look in the mirror, you feel proud. Not because you’ve achieved everything, but because you’ve become the man you were always meant to be.
Your Time Is Now
As you pull into your driveway and turn off the engine tonight, take a moment to sit in the silence. Then, ask yourself:
What kind of legacy do I want to leave behind?
Remember, when you step into your greatness, everything changes. Your presence alone becomes a source of inspiration. And the best part? This isn’t a fleeting moment of success—it’s a lasting transformation that redefines your entire life moving forward.
You have the power to rewrite your story—not by chasing more, but by becoming more.
Becoming a Better Man.
Much love,
Ruta
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