Unconventional Leader
It’s Not Just a Leadership Style, It’s a Life-Style
Published on March 10, 2025
In a sleek hotel room overlooking the city skyline, Alex—a high-powered CEO—stares out the window. From the outside, Alex appears to have it all: a multimillion-dollar company, respect in the industry, a sharp reputation among peers, and an exciting lifestyle traveling around the world. But behind closed doors, Alex feels a gnawing emptiness. The weight of responsibility feels like a never-ending storm cloud, spilling over into every other aspect of life: sleep is scarce, relationships are strained, and even small moments of joy feel too infrequent. It’s not just stress—it’s an identity crisis.
Leaders like Alex are everywhere. They are founders, executives, and visionaries who carry immense responsibility on their shoulders. Yet, in their quest to lead effectively, they often lose themselves in the process. The pressures they bear make even personal time stressful—they struggle to switch between being a boss, a lover, a parent, a friend. Leadership, as they know it, has become synonymous with sacrifice and control—a constant battle they know they can never win—and the relentless pursuit of proving their worth, brilliance, and significance. It’s an outdated paradigm—a model that leaves them disconnected, exhausted, and far from the magnetic visionaries they truly aspire to be.
But what if the key to leading with power didn’t come from forcing or controlling—but from stepping into deeper alignment with oneself? And even more importantly, what if leadership wasn’t as much about the way you lead others, but far more about the way you lead yourself?
The Old Paradigm of Leadership
Traditional leadership models often glorify control: micromanaging teams, forcing outcomes, and endlessly pursuing growth, expansion, perfection. Leaders are trained to prioritize performance metrics and external achievements, often at the expense of their personal and organizational well-being, a healthy culture, a happy team, and raving fans. While this approach might yield short-term results, we have come to understand by now that it is ultimately unsustainable. And, frankly, very unsexy.
The pressure to constantly perform better than yesterday creates leaders who are perpetually stressed, disconnected from their intuition, and incapable of igniting passion in others as charismatic visionaries. They become control freaks and power addicts—unable to delegate, step back, or simply enjoy the ride—and this relentless need for control creates a toxic ripple effect across their teams, organizations, and even themselves. As a result, teams feel stifled, organizations lack innovation, and leaders like Alex become drained, depleted, and isolated. It’s lonely at the top, isn’t it?
But what’s beneath this drive for control? In my experience—having worked with dozens of founders, CEOs, and C-level executives across tech, finance, D&I, and beyond—it’s fear. Fear of not being good enough, accepted, needed. Fear of losing relevance. Fear of failing to deliver results. Fear of not meeting expectations. Fear of stagnation. Fear of no longer being able to provide for themselves and their families. Many leaders conceal these fears beneath a polished exterior, yet it inevitably manifests in their outdated leadership, creating barriers to genuine connection and trust—both within and beyond. A deeply dissatisfying, unfulfilling existence, if you ask me...
The Shift
Unconventional leaders—the ones who leave an indelible mark—embrace a different way of leading. They understand that leadership isn’t about proving their worth but about being deeply aligned with their values, vision, and true selves. They dare to lead from the soul. They recognize that their vision and mission are bigger than themselves—and that alignment will carry them forward with grace. As long as they continuously refine their craft, strive for excellence, push beyond their comfort zone, and contribute to a better world. Not because they’re lacking something, but because the journey of creation is meant to be fun, challenging, and expansive.
This kind of leadership is not about abdicating responsibility or relying solely on intuition. It’s not about ignorance, naivety, or being blind to factual reality. It’s about integrating intuition and intellect—aligning inner wisdom with external strategy. Leaders who step into this new paradigm trust their gut feeling, listen to their intuition, and embrace their intangible skills. They realize that their power doesn’t come from forcing outcomes but from co-creating with life itself—intentionally surrendering to the calling and allowing higher forces to inspire aligned action.
When leaders operate from this place of deep alignment, they become effortlessly magnetic. Not just magnetic—seductive! They no longer need to micromanage or control because their confidence, clarity, and vision inspire trust, commitment, and undeniable devotion. This shift doesn’t just benefit the individual leader—it creates a ripple effect that transforms teams, organizations, and communities.
Moreover, when leaders operate from such palpable alignment, they inspire those around them to do the same. They cultivate environments where creativity flows, where people feel valued, and where extraordinary things happen. Their teams feel empowered, their organizations thrive, and their energy becomes irresistible to everyone around them—employees, clients, investors, and partners alike.
This is the power of unconventional leadership: when leaders lead from their soul, they transform not only their organizations but the world around them—they truly move mountains!
Becoming Unconventional
Take Alex, for example. After years of feeling stuck in a rut, Alex decided to try something different—something rarely, if ever, discussed in board meetings or executive coaching conversations. Instead of approaching leadership as a role to master, Alex began seeing it as an extension of self—a reflection of the soul at the core. Alex started prioritizing flow over control, learning to listen to the whispers, noticing the subtle signs, and building deeper, more genuine relationships.
This wasn’t an overnight transformation. It required letting go of old patterns, embracing vulnerability, and trusting the bigger picture. I can tell you one thing—it was damn uncomfortable at first! But as Alex grew more truthful, something incredible happened: a different person was born—not just as a leader, boss, or powerhouse, but as a human being. Suddenly, confidence was no longer hinged on external achievements. Decisions became bolder, guided by a deeper sense of purpose. And authenticity felt natural—unbothered by appearances, yet deeply loyal to what felt right.
As Alex shifted internally, the external results followed. The team became more cohesive, and projects began flowing with ease. Investors noticed Alex’s lighter, more captivating presence—they liked him even more than before. Even outside the office, relationships began to flourish—there was more energy and patience for family and friends.
It truly fascinates me every single time that this transformation—without exception—impacts every area of life. When leaders like Alex embrace alignment and soul-led leadership, they simply become happier. Their relationships improve because they show up with presence, authenticity, and depth. Their health improves because their relationship with their body, food, alcohol—even life itself—changes. Even their sense of purpose crystallizes as they realize they are not just leading organizations—they are creating meaningful legacies. Is there anything better than that?!
Why This Works
At its core, this approach to leadership works because it’s sustainable—rooted in authenticity, truth, inner power, and a deep connection with a higher force. Leaders who embrace their true selves and align with the intangible inspire others by modeling what it truly means to be fully human—not just being stuck in their heads. Because, let’s be honest, we’re way more than the rational mind.
When leaders lead from their soul:
They become leaders by example. Their energy and authenticity inspire trust, innovation, and loyalty.
They find freedom. Letting go of control frees them to focus on what truly matters, both personally and professionally.
They build meaningful connections. By showing up as their whole selves, they create deeper relationships with colleagues, family, and friends.
They unlock their magnetism. Their alignment and confidence radiate outward, making them irresistible to everyone in their orbit.
They ignite joy, passion, creativity, and self expression. Other people around them can’t help but calibrate to this higher frequency.
I call this unconventional because, in the world we live in, it’s still unusual to value happiness, authenticity, and truth as much as achievement and external success. In my model of the world, they’re not mutually exclusive. And leadership doesn’t have to mean sacrifice. I’ve seen too many powerful men and women build magnificent lives and wildly successful businesses and organizations by doing this work—not because they learned a new skill or adopted a new leadership style, but because they became a new version of themselves. And I couldn’t be more excited to see more leaders rise in this way.
An Invitation to Lead as Your True Self
It was never about working harder or proving more—it’s about embracing the power of who you truly are. Unconventional leadership requires courage, but the rewards are undeniable. Suddenly you realize that you’re not just building a successful career—you’re creating a life of joy, connection, and meaning. You become the kind of leader people are drawn to—not because of your title, but because of your essence. You’re no longer just a boss or CEO—you’re Alex, Clare, or David. And you’re on top of the world, feeling a million times better about yourself, your life, and your work than ever before!
So, to every founder, executive, and visionary reading this:
What kind of leader do you want to be?
The world is waiting. (And your spouse probably is, too.)
Best,
Ruta
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Unconventional Executive & Conscious Leadership 1:1 Coaching: https://www.redefiningsuccess.co.uk/unconventional
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